Predella Podcast Episode: The Meaning of Wanting Someone

Gada Jane

Jul 17, 2023 • 30 min read

What does it mean when you feel a lasting connection with someone but the relationship just doesn't happen? This week on the podcast, Gada does a love reading for her guest and they talk about how unresolved romantic connections can drive personal and spiritual growth.

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Guest: [00:00:00] For some reason, I feel like a very deep emotional connection with this person. I don't know why. Yeah, there is no conversation that has ever happened. There is no commitment that has ever happened. There is no so-called relationship that has ever happened, but I just feel that pull and I could clearly see and sense in his eyes as if he's just not saying it, but I can read through his heart and his eyes.

So this is what's going on. And our communication had been very on and off. For two, three years. But I think I, I stopped all gone. Like, I'll stop. Then suddenly I will go and then message again. Then I get frustrated and then I'll stop. So I think it's been almost a year now that I have not even talked.

So I just don't know what it is.

Gada: Hello and welcome to the Predella Podcast. My name is Gada, and this is a podcast about understanding people by exploring their inner worlds.

Today's focus is one of my favorite things to talk [00:01:00] about, love, romance, relationships, , and specifically how strong romantic feelings drive personal and spiritual growth.

I love it, and I love today's guest. She has been a client of mine for several years. I've never met her in person, but she's been one of the most interesting, challenging clients of mine for about four years now. The very first time I did a reading for her, I remember getting off the phone and thinking, why would she pay me for that?

I had never at the time, and I don't think I still have ever. A reading with someone who is so confrontational. Usually I do a reading and people say, yes, that makes sense, that's accurate. Or they're quiet and they just listen. But this person basically argued with everything I said, \ , And the confusing part for me was that it wasn't like she thought that I was wrong. She just very clearly did not like some of the things I was saying. And of course no one has to agree with me or my readings, , [00:02:00] but at the time I couldn't figure out why have a reading if you don't even wanna hear what the person has to say. So I found this curious. I was also very appreciative of her. I liked her ferocity. I really liked women who argue with me a lot of the time.

, so it confused me, but I appreciated that she was really, genuinely engaging with my work.

And over the last years that I've worked with her, that ferocious, sometimes contentious engagement, has propelled her forward in ways I've had the privilege to witness, because to my surprise, despite her apparent disagreement with me, she kept coming back to engage with me.

Since then, she has, as she mentions in the reading, worked with me to train her own psychic intuitive gifts. And she's grappled with her own sense of urgency in her life and her need for control and over the years I've learned a lot from working with her. In my role, she approaches things with this forcefulness that you'll hear in her voice at times in the reading, but also with this [00:03:00] thoughtfulness and integrity she clearly learns by coming up against things in her life and she reaches to determine the course of her life and then turns back over and over into toward her inward practice.

. She comes back to what she can control. She comes back to what she knows to be true. And I think that this is a really interesting thing, because so often we're given this image of a person who is on a spiritual quest that's like detached, meditative, calm, and it's true that there's a peace to be found in relaxing into spiritual practices.

But it's also true that spirituality and inner attunement often develop in these frenzied periods where we are thrown into emotionally intense experiences that rip away our practiced numbness and open up the possibility of transcendence and then take it away forcing us to learn how to access it, how to return to it ourselves. In the [00:04:00] case of my subject today, that came in the form of a relationship. The love story I mentioned earlier. She met this man several years ago and they had a fairly brief connection in what she refers to as 3D reality, akea, the physical world where people have conversations and spend time together.

But her experience of that connection seemed to connect her to her deepest self. It opened up possibilities for a relationship, but also for a way of living that seemed deeper and more real than she'd previously experienced. And then when the relationship failed to develop further, her inability to connect with him seemed to keep her from that potential or challenge her to find a different path .

What I think is really interesting and exciting about this story is her own. Growth the way that she's returned to developing herself as she's. Grappled with or come to terms with this situation. But I also think there's something really interesting in the question of what [00:05:00] to do with a relationship that feels genuinely, like it has potential, but that you can't get to come together or you can't find the communication because obviously, , to have a relationship, you need both people to want to have that connection.

. And if it's not working or if one person doesn't want to, then you can't force that.

And I think a lot of people in this situation are left with a question of, what do I do with these feelings? How do I work with them or move past them?

A lot of people would preach pragmatism. Like when it comes to unfulfilling relationships, you. Accept what it is, and , you move on, you try to let go of the feelings.

, you get this story from the, he's just, not that into you narrative or the, he, if he wanted to, he would for some reason. It's always the man that's not into it. , but then there's this other set of stories in the spiritual world, in the psychic intuitive world that. I've been exposed to because of this [00:06:00] work.

I do like the twin flame story , that says that there are certain connections that can open up people where the inability to connect doesn't mean that the connection itself is not real. Rather, certain connections are so intense that they require this period of separation where the individuals grow in their own path and then they come back together.

And I think what is most appealing about that story is the idea that the sense of connection is validated as real, and that it itself does tell us something about the nature of the relationship.

There's this kind of promise in it that your strong feelings are actually a prediction of the future of the relationship, which I think is not true for a lot of people who experience these strong connections, but that doesn't mean that the connection isn't revealing something about yourself and isn't [00:07:00] useful in how it drives.

Growth. I guess I'm a little agnostic about most kind of generalized narratives. I always preach returning to the feeling, noticing what you can. But part of that is if you feel that the feelings are unresolved, that there's more that you have to do, you trust that. And I also believe that if you feel that something is important to you, that means that it is important to you.

And that doesn't necessarily in itself form a prediction or a prophecy about how the relationship is going to turn out, but it does tell you real information about what matters to you and maybe what you feel drawn to, put your attention towards. and I think that even frustrated relationships that don't work can be really meaningful and inspiring.

And we [00:08:00] see that in the case of my subject today, this relationship, this connection with a, who she brings up during the reading has shaped her.

And I think I say this partly because some people might hear the reading and wonder why I don't just tell her how to let it go. As a reader I tend to sense and trust people's feelings that they aren't done with something and I help them work from that place , whereas another reader might say, This is something that is dragging on for you.

Here's how to move forward. Here's how to clear yourself. I don't say let it go because she still seems to be growing through the process of working through her connection to this person. Could she free herself from it, get clear once and for all? Sure. Maybe. But it feels to me like that's not where she is.

My practice always starts with exploring feelings, noticing and letting [00:09:00] understanding form. In order to guide your understanding about where you are and where to go next and what's exciting to me about the way that she works through it is that she continues to come back to the question of what does she have to do? To me, it doesn't feel like her sense of connection is getting in her way from moving her forward. In fact, it's the opposite, so, well, I do think it can be tempting to say that the journey is only successful if they ended up together.

I don't know if the real question that matters in the kind of broader scheme is whether she's going to do this inner process of growth and then get the man. I think it can be dangerous to think of love interests as rewards for personal success, and yet I do think that our feelings about love interests are very helpful as [00:10:00] guides to drive us forward,

And I think that that suggests a really important shift about how we think of our feelings. our feelings might have different kinds of qualities. Some might be passing fleeting, some might stay with us for a long time.

And those things that stay with us, that feel unshakable, I think genuinely are telling us something that is important, not necessarily about the way the world needs to be to satisfy us. But about what we want and what we need to do. In this case, I think it takes her deeper into her own vulnerability in a way that she is still working through.

And because she's still working through that, still working through the feeling of connection remains really important. and that's something that it's worthwhile for everyone to sit with and explore. What feelings stay with us, what connections linger in our energy? And what do those [00:11:00] feelings and sensations and senses of connection tell us about ourselves and what we need to do, what we need to process, what we need to move towards.

We're gonna go to the reading now. But before we do, please take a moment to subscribe to this podcast on whatever platform you're listening to it on, and also share it with a friend you think might like it.

Let's go to the reading.

Hi, welcome. Did you have a question or something you wanted to talk about today?

Guest: Yeah, so I would want to start with the general reading, but , even in general, it's more around the relationship, like how you do the love readings and all.

Gada: Okay. So just sort of general checking in with your romantic Yes. Area of your life. Yes. Okay. So yeah, the way that I do these readings is I just sort of tune to that area of your [00:12:00] life. And see what comes up. And sometimes what comes up is very much about what's going on for you, and sometimes it's about specific situations.

So we'll start with whatever comes up and then we can go from there.

Guest: Okay. Yeah. Sounds good.

Gada: The first thing that I sense is a kind of frustration, tension feeling. So it feels like you are a little bit frustrated with this area of your life. You have a, it's almost like it comes through as a clenching feeling that. It's maybe not moving as fast as you want. It feels like you have intentions and things you would like to be happening romantically in your love life, and those things are not happening, and some of that feels like you've been dealing with.

Situations where other people are slow or unclear. So there's a frustration with waiting for others or waiting for responses [00:13:00] and maybe other people who don't have as clear and direct intentions as you do.

Yeah, I feel a lot of annoyance at other people. , and. This seems to have a few different forms. I feel like there's one person that you had some kind of interest in, but also you were annoyed because they weren't actually, maybe what you wanted

Guest: is, is this person, the person a.

Gada: No, I think this is a different person.

So I, I would say that A is somebody that you feel actually is more aligned to you. That's a different frustration. The person that's coming up first is someone that maybe you. Thought maybe there could be something here, but there actually you didn't feel an alignment with.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it felt like there was a frustration about that lack of alignment. Like if we could just be different, then this could work in some [00:14:00] way.

Guest: Is the, is this the person that you are picking up? Is this like someone from like a past or something very recent? What, what do you sense about it?

Gada: It doesn't feel like immediately it's current, but it feels like it's not distant past. It feels like this was an interaction in the last year or so, maybe.

Guest: Okay. Okay. I think I, I can sense who that person is. That person, like I'm just giving a letter. S let's say.

Gada: Yeah, that sounds right. So that this kinda kinda stubborn, kinda

engaged with,

It's like I'm interested in my own interests feeling.

I'm quite I have a very strong sense of how things should be. But there's a way that there's almost like you would get along with S in certain ways. There's a kind of yes. Like, uh, on this superficial level, there's a flow and there's a mutual interest, but quite strong underlying differences between you and S.

Mm-hmm. And I feel [00:15:00] like that created some frustration and it's different than other kinds of frustrations. Like I think I mentioned at the, at first there's a sense of frustration of somebody like not being responsive. I think that's more a, this is more like you might be responsive. But it's not what I want.

And that is frustrating. So it's like these different ways that it feels like situations in your love life have been frustrating or it's been a struggle to get them to form into what you want them to be.

Guest: Is it some kind of a problem with my communication or my intentions? Or my expectations or my speed?

Because I think you're right. Like in most of the times, I feel like what I expect, I feel like I'm very clear. Like from very first few days or months, or let's say my expectations are clear and I feel like, okay, if I feel this way, this should happen or that should happen. Mm-hmm. But the people who are coming in, I, I don't know why I'm attracting those kind of people or situations.

I think that would be something that [00:16:00] I would want to work on. Like why am attracting these kind of a situation? Is there some learning or some higher guidance that I should have learned like years ago?

Gada: Uh, yeah. I think there's a lot of things in that. Question. Yes, there's a few different things happening.

One of them is, I think that you are more decisive than most people. You're just very fast in deciding, I want this, let, this is what it should look like. You have a very clear sense of how you want things to play out, and I think sometimes you don't have a lot of flexibility about that, and you don't give people time to catch up.

So. I, I think that in general you might find that most people are a little bit slower than you, so having patience with that might be a good thing. Mm-hmm. I also think that one of the reasons that you might attract people who are a little bit slower is that. It kind of creates a balance between you because you have very strong [00:17:00] intentions.

You have very strong wants. You are very clear about it, and so I think that sometimes attracts people who are a little bit less certain about what they want, because number one, they're not going to conflict with you. They'll be attracted to the sense that you have a sense of clarity. They're curious about that.

And they also maybe have a little bit more flexibility, which allows them to kind of think, oh, okay, well I could have space for her, very strong ones, you know? So I think there is something about it being a little bit complimentary, but you'd have to find the flow with somebody like that.

Guest: So should I like just start behaving like them, like having no clarity and then going with the flow?

Probably if I choose the other side of the spectrum, then I will start probably. Start attracting people who are like very decisive

Gada: maybe. Yeah. I think it's, I think there's a couple different things with that. One is, I don't think you're going to have less clarity, but I think you can have a bit more patience.[00:18:00]

Guest: I mean, I, I want to know the, like the definition of patience in terms of the reading, because patience can be one month, two months, five years, 10 years. This is something I think we, we've been talking for a long time now. I don't know what the pa the definition of patience is. Like what the duration of patience.

Gada: I think that it depends on the person, and it depends on what you're being patient about. .

It's hard to say here's the timeline because I think the shift is, To noticing and being aware of where that person is so that they feel like they have time to work through their feelings. It's not necessarily like it's going to take one month, two month, or three months, because it depends on what, what the situation is.

Like. Having patience with somebody who's a little bit less decisive might mean that. In the, if you're making a small decision together in a relationship, you give them a few hours or it might mean that you give them a a month to even approach you. You know, it depends on the situation. , and I [00:19:00] think that has to be negotiated.

So I would say it's less about less. Here's the timeframe that it's gonna take and more about. Accepting that it's not a flaw in them, that they process a bit differently that doesn't mean you have to say, oh, I have to be patient indefinitely. So you can say, I need you to be more clear.

This is something that is important to me. Are you willing to meet me? Are you willing to communicate back and forth about that, but that has to be on both sides,

Guest: so if I I think this is a really good suggestion. So if I take person A for example Yeah. In his situation, like, was I not being patient or is there something that I, should I, do I need to give more time or do I need to just cut it off because, um, yeah, that, that's something I need some clarity on.

Gada: So a was a past connection.

Guest: Yes. So the person is this person A that I met like long time back, I think it's been four or five [00:20:00] years, but I just feel that intense pull and connection it might be my brain who is just thinking like all the, you know, check boxes are met when I'm seeing this person.

For some reason, I feel like a very deep emotional connection with this person. I don't know why. Yeah, there is no conversation that has ever happened. There is no commitment that has ever happened. There is no so-called relationship that has ever happened, but I just feel that pull and I could clearly see and sense in his eyes as if he's just not saying it, but I can read through his heart and his eyes.

So I just don't know what it is.

Gada: Yeah, I mean, it feels to me like the feeling is very real. The [00:21:00] sense of something is very real. The sense that you recognize something in him. That feels significant to you, and feels like it reflects something in you or fits with you that doesn't seem like an illusion or something you're making up.

And it feels like it's still open. There's, there's a rawness around a that feels unresolved for you. So I think it's hard with where you are to

cut off.

So A feels like he's in a sort of sense of like pain right now. There's a sort of agony that he's feeling that almost feels like he's lost his skin or his protective layer. So he's in this kind of very. Stressed place, which makes him a bit hard to access. He also feels quite confused. You feel like I would like this, [00:22:00] and it feels like you have a sense of a container of the relationship.

Like you have a visualization of mm-hmm. What you would want from it, and he's not willing to be in that container. Why?

It feels scary and not like him. Somehow

Guest: this can be a false identity. Probably he has just created around his mind. How do you mean? Let's say like I, I'm saying that I am not fitting in certain environment because I am X, Y, z. Probably what I'm thinking about that I'm X, Y, z, probably I'm not that person.

I mean, I'm just trying to see like why, what's the resistance? Probably what he thinks that he is. He is not, it's like kind of a complicated

Gada: I know. So what you're saying is that he sees himself in a certain way, so he doesn't into your idea. I think that that's true. I also [00:23:00] think that he feels that you have a very, very specific idea that feels rigid to him and it feels like

. He likes to sort of, flow move in his own way. He kind of meanders through his own head. There's a sort of, let me stumble through this, whereas you are very clear and very direct and you have, you do have this image of what it's supposed to be. And I think that part of the problem there is that.

Neither of you really wants to meet the other person where the other is,

And there's almost the sense that you want to like meet him in the middle, but he doesn't want to go. Into that space. I'm sensing, I'm trying to sense now what you [00:24:00] felt in terms of a connection from his side. I do feel that, like I do feel a sense of underlying connection from him, but I also feel that what his sense is, is that being in connection with you has a certain rigidity that becomes a lot for him.

Guest: Like is it something that he sense it or is it something that he has seen in 3D perspective or He does sense probably from my side, so,

Gada: I think both. You mean the rigidity? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think both. I think he's seen that in the way that you communicate. And I think he feels that from you, it's like you wanna , move things into a form that feels stable and secure and fixed for yourself.

Okay.

Guest: Okay.

Gada: That feels like a lot of pressure for him.

Guest: So why do I want to do that? Like, why [00:25:00] do I want to create a structure if he wants to be free? I mean, I have learned the reading and all things from you also, so thank you for that. So now I'm able to even assess my own emotions. I can sit down and I can sense what I'm feeling, but sometimes, like for my own topics, I have to come to you and then ask questions.

But why am I being so rigid? Like, what, what is this kind of underlying programming or whatever It's.

Gada: I think a few reasons. One of them is that, as we were talking about before, you do see things very quickly and you'll look at a situation and you'll assess it and you'll feel, okay, I understand the potential in this situation.

Let's get it working. And I think there's this very positive, Desire to make things work in the way that you see there could work, bring the potential into reality. And you have this strong drive to do that, which makes you want to move things very fast and just [00:26:00] have them be in the shape that you see they could be in.

And I, I think that's a, that is actually based in genuinely seeing what's possible in very quickly. I think there's also a desire to have things be under control, which is a very normal desire, but I think that can come out of like, well, let me make sure things are in my control so that I don't feel a sense of uncertainty or feel nervous or feel vulnerable.

I think there's some avoidance of vulnerability that happens for you, especially in the romantic space. I think sometimes you come across as a little bit direct. And like you're going to make the situation work out instead of allowing yourself to acknowledge, oh, I'm having feelings. Mm-hmm. I think the deeper your feelings are, sometimes the more intensely you go into that it feels like. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So the deeper your feelings are, the more you are affected and [00:27:00] vulnerable, the more you may appear outwardly, like you're trying to structure something.

Guest: So I, I think it's a really good point that you have mentioned. Is it something that, what I'm feeling, I want to see it in my 3D reality. That's why I'm trying to create a structure or just yes, just see through my visible 3D eyes or something like that. Yeah, I'm sensing, I think that I need

Gada: proof probably.

Yes. I think that's a big part of it. This is things that you sense through intuitive psychic processes. I think it's also things you sense because you're very good at noticing things in a situation, assessing them, and I think that's also your senses and that's how you process.

So it's, you absorb information psychically. Through your senses, through noticing things about people, and then you make decisions very quickly, and then you try to arrange things. And I think, yes, you're partly trying to say, yes, look, I'm right about this. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think you're partly trying to hold onto a sense of like, that you can [00:28:00] shape things that you can get to a space that feels comfortable and structured for you.

Guest: So how does it applies to, let's say this another person s for example, Yeah, like I, I know, like I, I know you said that it's superficial even I know like it's very much on, on a physical and superficial, it's not as deep. Like even if I force myself, I don't feel that depth. But how is it going to be with the person s let's say, I think my next section is that is overall either for S or A.

Okay. I understood myself like a little better, but how this is going to progress like in the near future, let's say.

Gada: S is going to be hard to form the connection you want with, because I think s will sort of, you know, meet you where you wanna be met superficially in certain ways, but then just not. Isn't on the same page with you at

some deeper level. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I think

you would always feel like you're [00:29:00] struggling, like you're trying to reach for something that's not there.

Guest: Mm-hmm. I think I have kind of accepted that it's not going to be the de deep emotional connection with that person. I, I, yeah. I mean, if it's superficial, it's fine. Like on a human level, we all need food, for example, to sit by our side. So that's, I think, something that my brain has accepted that even if he's fulfilling that part, I think I might be okay.

Gada: I think that the thing is this inclination that you always have to try to shape. Things into what you want them to be, I think might cause you to feel frustrated to keep reaching for something that you're not gonna be able to grasp with them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think if you can really like pull back that urge and enjoy whatever you do have, then you can enjoy that.

But I, I think that part of it is that you do have a deep urge to have more of a deep emotional [00:30:00] connection and. I think you also have a really strong urge to have a partner that you feel supported by, and that involves a kind of life stability as well as an emotional connection. And I think both of those are hard to get with this person, and I think if you stop reaching for it, you're going to get a bit bored of the connection sooner.

Guest: Stop. Uh, I mean, I didn't understand the last line. Like if I stop reaching out to him or stop,

Gada: if you stop reaching for something more, I think ultimately you're gonna say, okay, I wanna go somewhere where I can get that more. I can get the deeper connection, I can get the life partnership.

Guest: So should I still continue with that person or I mean, I'm just trying to see like what my system is asking me to do.

Gada: Yeah. I don't see any reason to cut off that person. The other thing is, I think that if you stop reaching to shape it into what [00:31:00] you want it to be, you'll feel more open to what it is. Okay. Okay. And I think that that's a key thing for you if you can allow yourself to be open to what the other person has to offer rather than comparing them against what you want them to offer.

Mm-hmm. I feel like you are going to feel more comfortable in the connections that you have.

Guest: Okay. I think this makes sense. Like I'm, I was just thinking like how to get rid of. This my urge of shaping things or, controlling things. Although I have kind of worked on myself a lot. I don't know if it is showing up in my energy or something, but I'm pulling myself a lot for like, past few years.

Like I'm trying not to expect things. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Like digit. I don't want anyone.

Gada: There's a difference between not letting yourself want something and not letting yourself [00:32:00] immediately try to shape someone else into that thing. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I have. I feel like it's okay to want what you want, but like let that want stay in your body rather than trying to. Put it onto somebody else to meet that right away.

And I think this is an interesting thing because I don't think you like wanting things like you do have clear wants, but you want them to be met. In the outside world, you don't want to feel. It feels like you're actually uncomfortable wanting something you don't have.

You're uncomfortable having those deep feelings. Yeah, for especially for a, like there's a discomfort where you want it to be the relationship, but you don't wanna sit always with just the way that you were made to feel by this person, because he inspired by deep feelings with you, for you and in you.

And I feel like. There's a sense that you are uncomfortable with that unless you can make it into something that you feel it should be, that validates it. And again, [00:33:00] that thing of validating it, needing it to be validated in the outside world,

Guest: I. I think it's a learning because as you're saying, and I'm sensing it, I think it's a very deeper learning something that the, these kind of life lessons that's coming, that, you know, the, like how in the manifestation world people say that don't believe the 3D reality.

Yeah. So if you, we have the expectations that I should see my result in my physical 3D reality, that means I'm not internally satisfied because I'm still seeking. Yeah. So I, I think that part I need to work on. Yeah,

Gada: Maybe. Just draw your attention back into yourself and let yourself feel what you want and then try to align around that without affecting the things around you and see if that, if shifting your energies to actually say it's okay to want these things.

They don't have to be happening right now for you to want them. Mm-hmm. But actually, if you can create an alignment and give yourself permission to want and to. [00:34:00] And to want, based on what feels right for you, not just what you think is gonna look right. Mm-hmm. I think that might shift your relationship to some of these things.

Guest: But I think my desire is like what my brain is thinking. I don't know what my energy is. Like let's say I want X, Y, Z from X a specific person. That's the want, right? Yeah. But you are saying like, if I want a relationship, then I shouldn't put a, that pressure on that particular person. But that's what my Yeah.

And I desire, which is so wrong.

Gada: Yeah, it, but I think what you said about that's what my brain is wanting is the key thing, because I think what your energy wants, what you want at a deep level is that connection. Yeah. And then your brain forms that into, okay, this person should give me this or should be in this way.

And I think that step isn't, isn't. Okay. Okay. Keep it in the body to, I want to feel connected. This is how I wanna feel, this is how I wanna be. And [00:35:00] then allow yourself to Relate to the world from that position, instead of formulating it into what does that look like and try to make your vision of what it looks like come true in the way you've envisioned it, allow the feeling to direct.

That's where it becomes manifestation as opposed to like planning.

Guest: You know, actually this is really good suggestion, I hope. I think it's kind of applicable to anyone and everyone in the world. Yeah. In any situation because. What I sense that I want to feel, but the brain is like immediately going and put pull, pulling the data like, oh, you wanna feel love?

That means you need a human. You need that kind of a human or you need that. Those kind of a situation. So our brain is creating all that noise.

Gada: Yeah, exactly. And your brain is, your brain says, okay, well I know I have this one that I'm interested in, in this way. So we could just reshape him to fit into this thing that I've said I wanted.

And it's like your brain is working very hard. To, figure out a plan to meet Yeah. That you've identified. But I don't think that's the way, like the [00:36:00] way is to align around that and allow it to align with you.

Guest: I think this is, this is a really good suggestion. Like, I'll have to just shut my brain and ask him like, can you please stay aside.

Gada: That that's such a key part of all these practices. I feel like, I know I sit on the side,

Guest: sit on the side, I think in the meditation and then what you have taught me when I do readings for my family members and all it's very easy for me to do blind reading because my brain is not even thinking anything.

Yeah. But I still need to work on myself, like how to sense my own senses and my own feelings and stay in that. Yeah, but I think coming back to , like what do you see since happening, like, let's say for next six months or so for these two people. But these are really good ex advice.

Thank you for that. You're welcome.

Gada: So with s I feel like there's more to this connection, but I feel like you are going to over the next six months, once become more Okay. With the [00:37:00] ways that it is limited. Mm-hmm. And I think that may mean that ultimately you decide to go in a different direction. Because I feel like he's fairly consistent about where he is and , what he can give.

And I don't think that's going to change that much.

Guest: I think there is one certain thing that I want from that person.

There is one very specific thing, which is not even like in terms of relationship something I don't know if that one, if I see that one thing, I think I'm like kind of okay for the time being. Yeah. Am I going to get that? That's what my point is.

Gada: It doesn't feel like a no, but it doesn't feel like it's quite how you want, so it feels like you might get some form of it, but it may be a bit disappointing.

Guest: Okay. Which is fine. I kinda expected that.

Gada: So with a,

with a,

For the next six months. It seems very hard to move that. It does feel like you can communicate at some point, but it does. [00:38:00] Feel like he's not, he doesn't really move anywhere or meet you at least for the next six months.

Guest: So I think I have very generic question because I've done like readings with you for many times. Some days I feel like something is just shifted in me.

Okay. And then entire things you know, start feeling different. So is it possible, let's say tomorrow morning I feel completely different and I shift something, or probably my energy is shifting something. Does it change the trajectory or direction of what we are sensing for next six months?

Gada: I don't have the sense of that changing his energy. I do have the sense that your energy shifting is a big part of how you could get to a point of communicating. Mm-hmm. I feel like.

If you were to communicate with him, there's almost a way that you have to like be able to not be defended. Mm-hmm. And that's very hard for you, especially very hard. It's almost like when I feel your chest, like [00:39:00] your heart space, but like in the center of your chest as well. There's a lot of holding and it's a lot of mm-hmm. Defended energy that sort of needs to like relax layer by layer for you to be able to feel and interact from the level of vulnerability that you actually feel.

I feel like the problem for you in that interaction, and this is not true in other relationships you've had, the problem for you is that it makes you feel so vulnerable. Yeah. Become almost the

Guest: opposite of it. Yeah.

Yeah. Like every interaction or any time I feel hurt or. Anything can trigger me like instantly.

Yeah. Anything and everything. Yeah. So I think that's why like I kind of pull myself back and I feel a sense of peace, although at least for my brain, I don't know what my energy is feeling, but when I don't contact, I mean it's, it's a kind of a pressing topic in my head almost every day, but I'm like, okay, whatever it is, I'll deal with it.

I just can't deal with that [00:40:00] kind of a trigger or. You know, feeling, uh, vulnerable or something with that interaction, that pain, that's painful.

Gada: I can understand that, but I also think that one of the reasons you want to keep going back to him is because you do want to be that vulnerable. Yeah. You do want to feel that depth of connection.

You do want to feel that moved by somebody. Mm-hmm. And I think you're very afraid of that. So I think that you're very afraid of the feelings he makes you feel, and then you approach him, like, make me feel okay about this. And he doesn't even know how you feel internally, so he doesn't understand.

This stress that you bring to him? Mm-hmm.

Guest: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like, it feels like, like ever going topic. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm just leaving it like on the universe or whoever is working. Like if it, whenever it is supposed to happen, it'll happen, but yeah, I cannot stress about it.

Gada: I think all you can do is keep trying to like, yeah, work through [00:41:00] the levels of defendedness so that you become able to actually feel what you feel , , like going back to that idea of feeling what you feel in your body, and then not immediately going to controlling the outer world, but allowing yourself to feel that and then let yourself be guided about how to act . Because the feelings in your body, I think, tell you how you feel about him.

They tell you that he has this effect on you. They also can guide you intuitively towards like what is the best path. But I think you tense up so much. Mm-hmm. That it's hard for you to follow it, especially in this area.

Guest: Yeah, I think, I think this has been like the most challenging I feel, but here's the thing, like that my so-called most spiritual advances happen because of this person.

Yeah. So I don't know, because that person triggers, or this situation triggers me so much that my brain goes and look for solutions. I would have never learned the psychic reading. I learned it like, because I was like, okay, let's just [00:42:00] learn it. So that I can read that person, which I still can't. I can read other people, but at least like it's helping me to learn more things on this journey.

But thank you so much for your help Gada. I think all the advices that you have mentioned and the like feeling, the feeling you have actually put the exact right words. I feel like you, if someone just hears that like over and over again, They will just know how to feel our feeling and not be in our brain or in our mind so much that we always look for some concrete physical solution and try to shape things so, I mean, that's the most valuable I would say advice that I have received on this.

Gada: And I think that that process may be another thing that you can learn, like you're saying, that you learn from this connection. That might be another thing that this connection can continue to inspire you to.

Guest: Yeah, just feel, I feel on my soul level I feel like on the deepest level, It's like, it's fine if this person is there, [00:43:00] is a person is continuing to trigger you.

That's kind of like teaching my ego or my mind also to, you know, calm down and then more I'm going inside. Yeah. So if I remove that person from my life, I don't think that I will be that evolved person who I am right now. So there is a gratitude on some level.

Gada: That's wonderful. That's really beautiful.

Guest: Yeah. But thank you so much Gada. .

Gada: Thank you so much.

Guest: Thank you.

Gada: Bye.

Guest: Alright, bye bye.